Lost Dreams

I started this blog with the vow to post at least one post a day. Look where that got me - my second post in about just as many weeks. And therein lies my problem. I make vows and resolutions, promising all sorts to ensure that I achieve all that is good, but halfway through, I fall behind, I start lagging and then I'm telling myself, never mind, there's always tomorrow to continue with the project/resolution etc. Once, someone looked at my signature and told me that my attitude was that of someone who cannot follow through with their plans (or so that's what I gathered from the 'humph' and sigh that followed the sighting of my signature). 

I actually sort of gathered that as well based on my own analysis of my life. It's full of half-dreams that never really reached fulfillment, new dreams that never see fruition and all in all, an aimless and at times dis-satisfactory life peppered with non-achievement of dreams. I've always admired people who have dreams and passions and are able to work their a**es off to achieve it. I suppose one would need to have a passion in order to do achieve dreams.    

I thought I was someone without passion, but that can't be true. I love reading (which of course, depends entirely on the material to be read) and reading is something which requires passion to be done (or so I'm told). I seem to enjoy creating little fantasies in my mind (cue the unwarranted wild imagination at times). And therefore, it seems that by putting these 2 'passions' together, I should be able to put my little fantasies into words. Hence, the creation of this little blog that somehow managed to bypass my passion for a week. 

But I put down my lack of passion for the past week due to my own personal failures. This is indirectly caused by my another failure to follow through another resolution. As I've always known it to be, life's quirky. Your past failures will come back and bite you when you are trying to work out a new dream. This creates a vicious cycle whereby if you are already weak-willed in achieving one dream, it appears that you will always be weak-willed in achieving any dream, regardless of the burning passion. 

But I intend to break this vicious cycle as I'm already feeling the effects of being weak-willed and passion-less. Life's offered me many roads and I've always chosen the well-trodden one as it will always be the easiest; no need to hack through bushes and trees; no wild animals that will jump out at you and turn weak-willed knees to jelly. 

So, I'm off to work on my earlier failed resolution in order to be able to make this passion of mine take full flight. It's now still a little bird on the branch, trying to inch its way to the edge.